I want to turn back the time

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Don’t trust too much.
Don’t love too much.
Don’t hope too much.
Because that too much
can hurt you so much.

     At this moment, what I feel is what I wonder. Are all the mess come from me? Am I the culprit or more than that? Is it wrong to stand for my right? Is it my fault for being so expose to take care of my beloved stuff? I want the real answer as I cant stand for it anymore.

     Im all stressed out. Im speechless and I cant think anymore.(but my brain is keep on thinking for the sake of other's heart). Sometimes, bila kita asyik jaga hati manusia, kita sampai lupa yang kita juga ada hati yang perlu kita jaga. Im a human and I also own a heart which to be taken care. 

    and, if only you read my post and understand what im going to tell. Everything comes and enters my head without my permission. Everything is need to be solve and need to be done. Because Im feel all wrong. Even I dont do anything wrong. Itulah hidup aku yang complicated.

    so, this is my letter, because I want to express out everything but it seems hard for me to tell it. I feel a lil awkward. so, I hope, you will read it. I mean, I post it for public because, it's included everyone right now. 

Dear my only bestie,
     How are you? Are you in pink? (please dont be so nerd?) Hey, are you OK? it seems like we havent talk and have some conversation for days. Are you OK in this way? Because I can feel an unbridgable distance between us. I can feel that, our relationship is about miles away these days. So, im so sorry. Im not in your shoes even I had been in that shoes before. Frankly, that is all my fault. I admit for it as I dont want to raise up my ego. Im still working to put my ego away from me. Why you keep on avoiding from see me? Im not a ghost or Valak? If I can turn back the time, I will never scold you or do something which will hurt you or do anything that will make you sad. Eventhough Im not. I have to be hypocrite just because I want to take care of our relation. because i have too..

your friend (if you think the same)
faris yahani

     I want the old of us. I feel all alone as I have no one to talk to. I have no one to be with. i have no one to release my tense. I have no one play around. and I have no one to tell all my stories. 

     Ini bukan sesi rayuan. This is what I feel right now. Im all blunt. Buat tu salah, buat ni salah. so, where is my right? It is all the time to take care of other's feeling. Im tired as well. 

     If you really know me, (as we always stick together), you will understand what I feel at this moment. and i hope you will. I rather to put my stuff (already lost) in account of to strengthen our relationship back!

    Thanks for those who are keep on inspiring me! shoma, jibet, miss anis

    Life is hard though. Hebat macammana orang tu, rapat macammana pun mereka, there will  be a time that they will fight. and it depends on them, sama ada nak kukuhkan hubungan atau sama-sama pacak ego. 

if you were ever in my life & for some reason you aren't now, just know i'll always appreciate everything you taught me & the time we spent

p/s: sorry will be nothing but i'll show you, i'll win your heart back