بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

     If you still dont know who I am, please dont ever judge based on what you see. You may be wrong. Sometimes, I just show my acting because people love to be act and we have to act based on what they want. You say, you are my mirror which you always keep an eye on me. No matter what relation we are, if you dont ever taste my bitterness of life, you will never know what I feel from now on.

just keep on your mind;;


     You say, you sacrifire everything for the sake of me. You say, you are the one who really passionate to see me with a flying colour result. You say, you are able to judge me as you know me well. but you forget to say that you have to fix yourself first and never tell me the thing that you do it wrong as well. You can say that, im egoistic and stubborn, but can you please throw me an imagination or some flashback?

You did this when you were at my age.
You say that you are a bad-tempered person.
You say that you are fierce.
You say and say it over and over again.

Duh,, the things that you keep saying,, i mean babbling are the things that live in my soul when I was kid. Im human. I mean, Im grenade. I will be explode and Im still wait for the right time. 

People can judge me.
People can do everything bad to me
People can tell me some motivate
People can curse me

but, who the hell want to fix themselves if they have been motivated by a person who still do that wrong action. 

you say, i have to respect you
but you forget to respect me

you say, i may be to egoisctic on account of i just follow mine
but you forget to see yours

i admit that,

i may be ego, i may be stubborn, i may be bad-tempered.. but, if you want to learn something with me, please follow my rules. who the hell wants to teach if someone doesnt respect him at all. you bend my zeal and please dont ask me why i choose to go and not to teach you.

dont ever tell the bad things about me if you dont know me.
otherwise please have a check on you first

i can fix my self, i take people's motivation to fix myself. Duh, do i have to annouce to all the people that i have to change? just go and tell everything about me. i may not shot you a dulcet smile, yes, i hate to smile. MUHAMMAD FARIS BIN YAHANI who loved to smile had gone forever and maybe millions years ago. im really comfort with unsmiley and tight face. That's me. 

you dont even know my stories.
no, you dont

you dont even know my feels.
no, you dont

you dont even know what I've been through
no, you dont

that's why i hate to receive something from people who dont even know me but judge me like s/he is my boss. huh, kinda annoying. i may be rude, im sorry. but if you dont want to see me with this way, please motivate or tell me with soft way. you dont motivate me but you are trying to drag me down

it feels, though

never mind, if you are going to explode. i dont even care.
i have been adapted with this.

i can be a person with a tiger's soul, though

i dont want to pour in my hatred. im not that kind of person. i may be overthinker for everything that i had faced. but, i dont keep it in my heart because i express it in writing. 

in this entry, this is what i feel right now
this is my feeling.

im burning and you lit up my fire

you are and never be my mirror
because my problems and tests from Him
are my mirror.

i can fix myself through them
my problems are my Kafarah

so, i dont want to loose our relation
please dont ever tell me if you dont want to quarrel with me